I guess blog posts might no longer be a fancy way of sharing ideas, thoughts or knowledge, but it’s been a few months since I have been searching for a way to connect with you in a different separated way, next to all the content that my team and I produce behind the Polymer Week.
I remember how it all started with writing a blog about creative ideas and tutorials when I was young. I was proud of myself that there were already two people reading that, my mum and dad. I used to create little paper stuff, take photos, add the text part and share such content on the internet around the age of ten. It’s silly to compare those ages to today’s world, and it’s unbelievable to look at the things that I do now. Just thirteen years apart.
So I am kind of slowly coming back. Back to those times when I was free to do anything I wanted. It’s not that easy now, a lot of responsibility came to my life just a few years after I started with the little blog. But after years of working and also struggling with my own life and independence, it feels that this is a nice and right moment to start doing something for myself again.
It always starts like that. You get a passion, hobby, some new ideas… you can keep that for yourself, or share with others. In the moment you do, it’s not just about you. And in that moment my life changed a lot. I found the polymer clay, I got some ideas, I shared it with my parents and lately on the internet, and since then it’s been like a rollercoaster.
It’s been almost ten years since we started a family business, designing and creating tools for polymer clay, organizing events, publishing the magazine, teaching classes… And it’s been more than three years since I left. With more and more years added to my life, my opinions got stronger, my relationship with my father got worse. In the end, our ways went separate, I could no longer serve my dad’s ideas how the company should be led and I felt there was not enough space for mine to bring to the light.
I have had a lot of difficult times to forgive, let it be, accept and move on. It’s been tough, and the fact that the family business became my dad’s but the brand name “Lucy” did not change, was even more difficult. I actually had two ways I could decide to follow. One was suing, the second one letting it be. In the beginning, it felt good to my ego, that I could actually win and change something I was not happy about. On the other hand, I later realized that letting it be and changing myself, will be a more peaceful way of dealing with such things that might bring me a lot of new experiences into my life.
I started all over again, with my new company, with lovely people around, support from my mum and sister, and with new challenges in front of us. And to be honest, I am forever grateful for the way things have happened in my life.
It has not been easy. Oh gosh! I cried so many times during my childhood and teenage years, but our memory works surprisingly bad when it comes to such memories and I have to search a lot when I want to remember what it felt like during those times. A lot of lovely memories stayed and I have added many new ones during recent years.
Working in business, and reading about others as well, I have always wondered what the people before us had to pay for their success. As a society, we tend to overshadow, and sometimes even hide, our personal stories and experience with achievements. Everything then looks bigger, more fancy, interesting, positive. I know that there might be people who admire me for doing the things I do from such a young age, while praying they started sooner, younger. And even though the upcoming paragraph will not be an easy thing to write, I am gonna do that honestly and gracefully, just to admit the reality and expound it to you, too. Because none of our journeys can be similar and we all are going our own paths.
Things I lost
Carefree years of my childhood without any stress.
Living my teen years the way most of us do.
Family time without talking and doing the business.
Too many tears. Sometimes it felt like I cried my eyes out.
Being outside with friends. I did not have many.
More time for the only boyfriend I have had.
The independence in finance, which I built back.
Regular dad-daughter relationship, that still kind of hurts.
Things I got
Incredible amount of experience during the past fourteen years.
Ability to speak English as my second language fluently.
Traveling to different places and sharing my knowledge.
Independence in finance early in my twenties.
Experience and meeting wonderful people from all over the world.
I got better at leading people, but sometimes I still struggle.
Creating and being a part of many incredible projects.
Realizing that anything I dream about I can make happen.
I definitely got stronger.
Everything has its pros and cons. I am sure that each of us is going through our own challenges that sometimes might feel like a never-ending path full of struggles and teardrops. I just want to promise you that one day, you will solve that puzzle and the rainbow will appear again. Like it did in my life.
Big hug to you all!